assign the task of cleaning the kitchen after dinner to three of your children.
This is a 100% foolproof way to:
~turn talking into yelling.
~hear the words "jerk...stupid...shut up...idiot" hissed in what children believe to be a whisper but I can hear perfectly fine.
~start a flood of tears.
~have someone get popped in the face, arm, etc. with a dishtowel (didn't Bill Cosby mention that in one of his stand-up comedy routines?).
~ensure at least one broken dish.
~send someone to bed early.
Wish that someone could be Mom.
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