Medical Conversations With My Five-Year-Old

I took my youngest to the emergency room the other night. She fell against a bookcase and got a gash on her temple. It wasn't terribly long, but it was gaping a bit... and it was on her face... and she is my baby...you get the idea. Normally, she is a pretty healthy child. I think the last time she was in that hospital for any medical reason was when she was born. So, naturally, she was curious--and more than a little nervous. Here are some of the conversations that we have had related to this injury:

In the waiting room, waiting to be seen by the doctor. She is sitting on my lap, and a police officer walks through the entrance and back to the ER.

My daughter: Mommy, that guy is dressed up like a policeman.
Me: Honey, he is a policeman.
She: Well, why is he here?
(Now, I have worked in an emergency room. For a split second, all of the reasons I know for a police officer being in an ER at 9:00 at night run through my head. I settle on the easy one.)
Me: I am really not sure, sweetie.
She: Maybe he needs a check-up.

Later, after we have been checked in and the nurse has done his assesment. He wheels the large and formidable suture cart into the room. My daughter's eyes are as big as saucers, and getting a shiny sheen to them, very quickly.

She: Mommy, what are they going to DO to me?
Me: They're going to fix your ouchie.
She: How??
Me: Well, I don't really know. They have some really cool glue for skin. So they might glue it. Just like when your teapot broke and we glued it.
She: Are they going to SEW it?
Me: Well, ummm...maybe.
She (with a look of utter panic on her face): But they'll give me sleeping medicine, right? ( I knew she took after me!)
Me (honesty is always the best policy when it comes to medical procedures and a child, right?): Well, no, honey. They...
She: Will they use a NEEDLE???
Me (cursing any and all business trips that take dads away at moments like these): Yes, but they will give you some medicine so that you don't feel them sewing it up. IF they have to sew it. But don't worry. You will be great. (Notice that I failed to mention that the nice medicine would come through the needle. So much for honesty.)
She: Mommy?
Me: Yes, hon?
She: I hope they just put a Band-Aid on it.
(At this point...me, too. I would gladly spend $300 on a Band-Aid from the emergency room.)

The next day, when she told me that her nicely GLUED laceration--no needles--hurt, and I was dispensing Children's Tylenol.

Me: I am all out of the kind you can chew, but I have some liquid. Is that okay?
She: Is it that stuff that I had to drink when I had that ear infection? (Zithromax--tastes bad, works well)
Me: Nope. This is different. (I put the medicine cup up under my nose and sniff it.) It smells good, see? (I hold the bubble gum flavored medicine out to her. She sniffs.)
She: Mmmmm! It smells like SUNFLOWERS!
(Exactly what I was thinking?!)