Reflections on Friendship

Well, the "Holiday Road" tour has ended, and we are now tucked back into our life in small-town America. The children are all still tucked in their beds--having been away from them for a week, I expect they feel lovely to them; I know mine did to me--and I am reflecting on the last leg of our trip.

We spent Saturday with my sister and her son touring free things to do and then saw my the play my brother was in. On Sunday, we packed up--that always takes WAY longer than expected--after having the entire clan shower and put on their "vacation finery"--which also takes WAY longer than expected--and headed down the road to our last stop--a reception for one of Hubby's college friend's 10th wedding anniversary.

My husband has a group of four friends from college. Two of them live within 15 minutes of us; one lives an hour or so away; and the other one hails from the Disney World area--lucky guy. All were able to come to this reception with their wives and families. We haven't all been together in at least 5 years, maybe more. Now, instead of 5 guys, it is 5 guys, four wives, and 11 children. We had a great time. Children grabbed hands of kids they had never met before and ran off like they had always known each other. Boys played ball outside. Older children helped keep track of younger ones. It was a beautiful picture of friendship and it made me think about all of my friends and how truly blessed I am.

Women tend to define things in terms of relationships--wife of, mother of, friend of--so our friends are very important. Allow me to be sappy for just a minute, and reflect on the blessings of my friends:

I have my family friends--people who are genetically related to me, but choose also to be my friends, in spite of all my shortcomings. People like my sister and brother who love me and encourage me even when I drive them crazy; who know all about all of my insecurities, the stupid things I did when I was little, and understand the intricate family dynamics that make us who we are as siblings.

I have my friends who aren't genetically related to me, but who go above and beyond the call of "friendship duty" to love and minister to me and my family--attending my kids' baseball games and dance recitals; taking each of my children out for a special evening on their birthdays; and, most recently--just "hopping in the car" to drive my cat to the vet who is 20 minutes away while we were gone to have his paw checked out--all while her extended family was in from out of town.

I have friends that we haven't seen in five years who graciously opened their home to us; took time off of work; spent time planning interesting things for us to do in Michigan so that our vacation could be a great experience; and--this was true five years ago and is still today--who always give great and godly advice.

I have friends that I have acquired through my husband--people who made an effort to like me because they like him--who, now after almost 13 years, I have a bond with independent of him, and I am so grateful they are in my life.

I have friends who are "season of life" friends. We met because we had small children together, went to the same church, were involved in the same activities, and our children are now friends. These people make my day-to-day life experiences better.

I have "long distance friends" that have never lived any closer than 3 hours to me, but we still manage to have a heart bond, and we talk on the phone--thanks to mobile-to-mobile minutes and "pay one price" long distance plans--at least every couple of days.

My friend, Jamie, refers to another kind of friend: the "If my house were hit by a tornado," friend. These are the friends that you maybe don't see or even talk to on a regular basis, but if your house was hit by a tornado, these are the people who would step up and help you; no questions asked, and nothing expected in return.

My daughter is in the thick of adolescence, and adolescence reminds me of another type of friend. This type is more bittersweet than the others. It is the friend that is in your life for a season, but time, distance, life changes, and other circumstances make it so that you aren't really friends anymore. I have these friends, also. And even though our relationships have changed, the person that I have come to be is shaped in some part by them, and I am grateful to them and better for having known them.

So, thank you to all of my friends, and most importantly, to the Friend that unites us all. I hope all of you know how much you are loved and treasured by me.

And in that spirit, I will try to give you a lighter and shorter read next time!