That Time of Year...Again

Well, today is the day.  The first day of the new year.  "First days" have always been exciting for me.  They seem like an opportunity to start over...make changes...be better.  

For example, I always enjoyed the first day of school, because for at least one day I could be all of those things I wanted to be...organized...smart...studious...  It never lasted very long, but my soul has always craved those chances to "begin anew."  I know...I know.  Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, so why do you need a specific "day" to make changes?  I have no idea.  But I love Sundays (the first day of a new week), the first day of a new month, the start of the school year, the start of summer vacation, the first day in a new house, and I love New Year's Day.  

And every year I make resolutions for the new year.  Sometimes I write them down.  Many times I don't.  Sometimes I give them a different name...goals...objectives...wishes...prayers.  But they are all essentially the same.  Resolutions to make this year somehow different or better from last year.  And essentially the same thing happens every time.  I do very well for a couple of weeks, days, or hours, and then I slip back into my previous ways, or the exact opposite of what I wanted to accomplish happens.  And I have some data to back this up, people.  At least 25 to 30 years of it!  

I am assuming that this year will be just like all those others, so I am on a quest to "outsmart" the "New Year's Resolution" gig...a little "reverse psychology," if you will.  So here is my list of New Year's Resolutions for 2009:

~Gain 20 pounds by eating nothing but junk and never exercising.

~Spend recklessly.

~Let my Bible spend the entire year unopened and gathering dust on my nightstand.

~Ignore all of my long-distance friends.

~Swear off household chores and organization.

~Provide an environment where my teenage daughter is literally counting the days until she gets to move out and go to college.

~Make school around here as boring and as painful as possible for all involved.

~Waste massive quantities of time by watching "The Sopranos" and once I've gone through all of those, "The Office," or "Scrubs," or something else as equally valuable.

~Learn nothing new at all this year.

~Become clinically depressed.

I'll let you know how the experiment goes.  

Happy 2009, Everyone!