A couple of months ago, my 13 year old daughter asked if she could open a checking account. A checking account? I am pretty sure I opened my first checking account when I went to college. Now I am not the world's best money manager. Maybe that is because I didn't open my first checking account until college.
So her dad and I talked, and we agreed. She has a "steady" income, more money in her savings account than we have in ours, and there is no time like the present to get started. Better to possibly overdraw a small amount while living at home than your entire rent or utility payment when you are 20. Yes. Let's open a checking account.
So we went to the bank. Very painless. She got lots of information on overdraft charges, savings transfer fees for insufficient funds, economy sharedraft, identity theft, etc. etc. etc. My father, who has been in banking since I can remember, would be proud. We signed our names to so many pieces of paper that I had a wrist cramp when I was done!
The next step was to get a state issued ID, since she isn't old enough to have a driver's license. No problem, I thought. The Driver's License Examiner issues IDs all of the time. So I gave them a call and explained the situation.
Not a problem, they told me. We need an original copy (oxymoron??) of her birth certificate, her social security number, and your driver's license to prove her residency. Oh, and $18. $18?? For a piece of plastic with my daughter's picture on it and her signature? Seriously??
Okay, fine. I gathered the items; she fixed her hair and put on some lip gloss. Obviously this is the first time she has ever had a picture of this sort taken. She has no idea that it will be horrible no matter how hard she tries "to break the cycle."
We got to the Examiner's office. I pulled out all of the required documentation. We need one more piece of identification for her, they told me.
When I called an hour ago, this is all they said that I needed.
I asked my daughter to get her library card out of her purse. She didn't bring it. No matter--that wasn't a valid form of ID, anyway. The lady started asking me questions:
How about a passport? Are you kidding me? She's thirteen. And even if she did, I wouldn't carry it around in my PURSE!
An old Kansas ID card? I just looked at her.
School ID? She is home schooled. But you will take a school ID and not a library card??
A school yearbook picture less than 3 years old? Ummm--she's home schooled. But if you would like, I would be happy to create a "yearbook" or "school ID" with my Photoshop program and bring it in tomorrow.
She handed me the list. Among other things, she could bring in:
~a marriage certificate
~a Selective Service Card
~a professional license (Is there a professional eye-rolling license?)
~ parole documents
~ medical records
~a Kansas voter registration card.
I fail to see the logic in this. I had the birth certificate. With her name on it. And my name on it. My information is listed right under the section labeled Mother. I had her original social security card. With her signature. I had my driver's license to verify that I am the person listed as the mother on said birth certificate. But because she didn't have a yearbook (put together mostly by people under 18 with typos and misspellings all over the place), they were going to refuse to give my American-citizen-never-lived-outside-our-state-in-her-life daughter an ID card.
Basically, if my 13 year old daughter would've just gotten sent to Juvie, it would be so much easier for me to prove she is who we say she is. Nice.
After ten minutes of this--when the lady could see that I was at the end of my rope with moronic, bureaucratic, red tape--she got on the phone with someone, explained that because we home school, we don't have an acceptable second form of ID, and got clearance from "Wanda" to take our money and issue my child her ID card. "Wanda" must work for the Department of Homeland Security.
At this point, I was thinking, I am going to get all of my kids passports. Just so they have an acceptable 2nd form of ID. And in case I ever need to put my family on a plane and get out of this madness.
But chances are, to get a passport, you need your birth certificate and another acceptable form of ID--namely a driver's license, or state issued ID card!!
2 comments:
Oh Casey, I almost died laughing at this one! I've missed reading your posts - glad you are back. You might want to think twice about the passports - they are more expensive than you could imagine. And yes, you need a second form of ID. :)
Now you know what to add to your homeschool curriculum - JOURNALISM.
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